BTE Newsletter #9: The Holiday Special

Hello everyone,

With the holidays in full swing and Christmas just around the corner, this edition of the newsletter will be a little different and a little lighter. Spending your time dissecting private markets probably isn’t at the top of most people’s holiday wish lists, after all.

That being the case, a couple of large asset managers have an annual holiday video tradition, and what could be a better subject for the holiday edition of this newsletter?

For Blackstone, this tradition dates back to 2018. The early instalments were spoofs of The Office, with President Jon Gray leaning into the role of the cringey boss, as a clear nod to Michael Scott. Over time, the Office theme has been dropped, but the videos have kept coming, and Mr. Gray has kept the same awkward persona. The best‑known video came two years ago with a Taylor Swift-inspired “Blackstone Eras Tour."

Not to be outdone, Apollo launched its own annual holiday video tradition in 2023, complete with inside jokes, memes, and plenty of self‑deprecation.​

So that naturally raises the only question that really matters this season: who did it better this year? Below I look to answer this question (and there's a clear answer).

This will also be the last newsletter for 2025; no issue next week. Happy Holidays!

Ben

Blackstone 2025 Holiday Video: Forever Blackstone

This year’s Blackstone video leans into the firm’s 40th anniversary with a midlife‑crisis theme, with Jon Gray starring in a determined (desperate) bid to keep Blackstone cool.​

The video earns top marks for a few reasons:

• Cameos! Maybe not as many as the Happy Gilmore sequel, but the video did feature filmmaker Ken Burns, Goldman Sachs CEO David Solomon, and above all Danny DeVito (whose appearance is a reference to his Jersey Mike’s commercials and Blackstone’s ownership of the chain).​
• Willingness to once again make Jon Gray the butt of the joke, especially by roasting his now‑famous running selfie videos.​
• An over‑the‑top 1980s music video finale.

Apollo 2025 Holiday Video: The Private Marketplace

Unlike Blackstone, Apollo's video has comments turned off for the YouTube video.

And it's easy to see why:

• A theme built around The Twilight Zone, a show from the late 1950s.
• Constant cheesy jokes based on the verbiage from Apollo's marketing pitches.
• Not nearly enough poking fun at CEO Marc Rowan.

At the very least, Apollo did have one nice cameo, Citigroup CEO Jane Fraser (which makes sense considering the close relationship between the firms). And to be fair to Apollo, it's not like we have a holiday video from Brookfield, KKR, Ares, Blue Owl, etc ... those other firms really need to step up their game.

But for now, Blackstone holds a clear edge over Apollo in the all‑important holiday‑video power rankings. There's always next year.

Two Firms that Should Get a Lump of Coal in their Stocking

Last Thursday, I wrapped up my posts for the year with a piece on two private real estate firms that fell short for their investors:

When Private Markets Goes Wrong - Bluerock and Willow Wealth

Published Thursday December 18th

Podcast Update

The fourth episode of the Beyond The Exchange podcast is now up on Apple and Spotify, with episodes 5 and 6 both scheduled for recording in January.

Reception for the podcast has been very positive so far, especially the segment at the end of each episode where I get each guest to ask a question for the next one to answer. I actually stole the idea from Adam Grant, who hosts one of my favourite podcasts, ReThinking. Ironically he brought up the idea in one episode but never followed through. But that means the idea is mine for the taking.

For those of you who still haven't subscribed to the podcast, see below. Newsletter subscribers can also download a transcript for each episode here.

Want to find out more? (In the new year)

Private markets are not for everyone, and come with a number of risks, such as higher illiquidity and less transparency.

However, many of the world’s leading institutions and wealthiest families put a big emphasis on private markets, and recently these strategies have become more available to individuals too. Drawing on my background as an analyst specializing in private markets, I help investors cut through the complexity and understand how to build portfolios incorporating these strategies.

To explore whether these strategies are suitable for you, please schedule a 30-minute virtual meeting below:

Email

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Disclaimer

Benjamin Sinclair is a representative of Designed Securities Ltd. Designed Securities Ltd. is regulated by the Canadian Investment Regulatory Organization (ciro.ca) and is a Member of the Canadian Investor Protection Fund (cipf.ca). Investment products are provided by Designed Securities Ltd. and include, but are not limited to, mutual funds, stocks, and bonds. Benjamin Sinclair is registered to provide advice and solutions to clients residing in the province of Ontario. For more information, please see www.beyondtheexchange.ca/disclaimer/